Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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