I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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