I wish I could punch you in the face.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Randomize
