Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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