My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
