Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
