Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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