I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
