Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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