come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
