I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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