Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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