I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
