So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
