you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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