morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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