no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
