I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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