He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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