You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
