I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
