i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
