Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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