I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
