how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
