You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
