the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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