Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
