Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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