4 words: hood of his car
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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