I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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