I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
