I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
