Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
