lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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