I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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