We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
