So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
