She's JV to your varsity
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can I color on your dick again?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
