I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
