Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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