Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize