How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize