Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pants are for mortals
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize