I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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