You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
