So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
