i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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