Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
