Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Too much gin, very little bucket
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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