i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
