My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
