I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
