I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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