What a fucking waste of an outfit
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You are a genius and a whore.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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