my being single is dangerous.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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