I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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