We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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