I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
