You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
