I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize