Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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