Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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