u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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