yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
