I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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