They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
