She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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