he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
