East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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