Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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