i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You are the jesus of drinking
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize