never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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