It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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