O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
