Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
