i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
