she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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