Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
