I wish i was in the wii world.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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