I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
