Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
