Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
