fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
