I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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