Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
