you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
