I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
